Modesty…Who knew it’d be so hard to find?
I’ve been on a bit of a hunt lately…Since starting this blog I have been assailed with the question; “what is modesty?” over and over again. It should be a huge part of our lives as Christians, but sadly because of the world we live in, it is seen as outdated and prudish. What is real modesty? What does it look like when it comes to living in the 21st century?
While I’ve been contemplating these questions, I happened to come across a book in my school library with the title ‘The Beauty of Modesty’. Of course I was so curious I just had to check it out! I am barely two chapters in, but already I am so enthralled with this book I just have to share! If you’re looking for a solid read to help jump start your mind and help change your outlook on modesty, check out this book by David & Diane Vaughan; ‘The Beauty of Modesty: Cultivating Virtue in the Face of a Vulgar Culture’.
Here are a few exerts on what they had to say about modesty;
“Modesty has fallen out of fashion. Indeed, it is fair to say that since the sexual revolution of the sixties, modesty has ceased to be a serious subject of discussion. Not only were many of our sexual mores buried beneath the radical rhetoric of “free love,” but the very notion of virtue itself became obsolete as we substituted self-expression for self-control and subjective values for objective truth. But what began as a dream of paradise regained ended in the nightmare of the serpent’s seduction. We find it difficult to talk about modesty because after a generation of sexual liberation, we have become desensitized to the flesh. While gazing at the exposed female bodies that greet us in every shop, on every television program, in every workplace, we ask with a boorish frown, “Modesty? What’s that?”
“Modesty is not bashfulness, shame or a sexual hang-up. Then what is it? Noah Webster defines modesty as “that lowly temper which accompanies a moderate estimate of one’s own worth and importance. In females, modesty has the like character as in males; but the word is used also as synonymous with chastity, or purity of mind, or from the fear of disgrace and ignominy fortified by education and principle. Unaffected modesty is the sweetest charm of female excellence, the richest gem in the diadem of their honor.”
“Modesty means “dressing, acting and speaking with propriety, respect and moderation.” Three words here are critical: propriety, which suggests regard for divine or social norms; respect, which means regard for others’ and one’s own conscience; and moderation, which is control of one’s disposition and habits. Modesty deals with more than apparel or dress. A woman may have her entire body covered and yet act or speak in an immodest way. Modesty has to do with more than just clothes. It governs every aspect of our lives. Therefore, we will need to think not only to how we clothe our bodies, but also how we act and speak via our bodies. As Christians we must learn to take responsibility for our appearance and behavior, and for the message I may send others.”
I was so impressed and grateful for what they had to say, as I feel that they have eloquently voiced a lot of my own opinions that I didn’t have the research or words for before. All throughout the first chapter they do a beautiful job of explaining modesty, what modesty is not and inspiring you to be the best that you can be. I really encourage you to check out their book if you’re looking for a good read, it is really helping to shape my worldview right now!
I really believe that modesty is a heart posture. It has a lot to do with what’s going on on the inside. If I respect myself and think highly of myself and the body God gave me, why wouldn’t I want to dress well and clothe myself in modesty? It’s when our views of ourselves begin to slip that we allow our dress code to slip as well.
“You will never convince a boy [or anyone else] of your dignity until you first convince yourself.” –Jason Evert
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